How can divorce and getting re-married affect children?

How can divorce affect children between the ages of 7 and 12?


If one parent remarries would it be confusing for children? Could they resent the step-parent?How can divorce and getting re-married affect children?
Yes and Yes.





I lived through two divorces myself. One at under 1yr, the other at 7years.





It will definitely confuse them...nevertheless, children will see it as 'normal' part of life, which should not be the way, given one's opinion.


It will plant a seed of 'emotional instability' in their minds. The worst part about my circumstance was that my mom soon after moved to the east coast to be with her new husband. My brother and I stayed with our dad on the west coast. He chose to never marry again and was negative about women gaining weight after marriage...they were lazy...';I was the victim'; complex, basically.





If I could turn my biggest hope into a recommendations:


1) keep close geographic ties with your ex-spouse. Worst thing is to move away - puts more questions in those kids minds.


2)NEVER....EVER turn your children against the other parent by speaking badly or negatively - again, more questions for them to ask.


3)Visits and time spent with both spouses present should be as equal as possible and just as FREQUENT. No one realizes that, for the sake of the children's emotional health, divorce is just as if not more work than marriage was.





Ultimately your children will accept their own answers for their questions, no one elses. Divorce is burdening and stressful not just for the parents, but the kids as well.How can divorce and getting re-married affect children?
It might. That's why it's important to keep the kids involved, and aware of what's going on. Once a relationship is serious, the kids need to know that Mom or Dad has someone in their life that is important to them, and that is interested in being a part of the kids' lives as well.





Kids sometimes resent step-parents, especially if one parent is bad mouthing the other, or the new step-parent, in front of the children.
The effect of divorce on children is kept to a minimum if you and your ex make a point of acting civilized toward each other.





Before you remarry you need to let your children acclimate themselves to their new life and new home. They need to reach that place where they know even if mom and dad don't live together they are still fully devoted to them.





Children will not resent the step-parent if he/she is introduced gradually and if he/she's respectful of the family unit already existing.
It is very confusing and hard on children. But, living in a house with parents who despise each other and argue is torture. I know. They may resent the step parent, but that is where the parents come in. My ex hubby never says one negative thing about me or my husband and my son is very happy. I have an older adopted child who still sees her biological mother four times a year (she is in prison) and her biological grandmother. They fill her head with lies about me and her father and she has had a very hard time adjusting. It all has to do with the biological parents and how positive they are.
I think that divorced people need to take care of themselves and their children first, before diving into a new relationship. Everyone goes through a lot of emotional stress in a divorce, including the kids.





So, those of us who are divorced need to get our lives back together before even considering a new relationship.





Divorce can affect a child in many ways. Some kids take the blame for the divorce, sometimes they feel abandoned or unloved... Parents really need to take the time to attend to their kids' emotional needs, whether it be listening to their concerns, or seeking therapy for them. But i see a LOT of parents just don't pay attention to their children's needs during a divorce. It's all about the parent, many times, and the kid ends up eating the parents' dust. It's not fair to the kids.





I think remarriage is ok eventually -- and i also think the role of the step parent needs to be defined. It's always a good idea to have a family ';meeting'; so kids can express their concerns and ask questions before a parent gets married. This is the time the parents can talk about the step parent's role in the family, and what is expected of everyone.





It's always a good idea to impress upon the kids that the parent is there any time the child needs a shoulder. Divorce can be really devastating for kids
It really depends on the people involved... yes they can resent the step-parent, but they might not. My man's children LOVE me and look forward to spending time with me, but I have always treated them as my own, and they have never seen me lose my temper or show any meanness to anyone. When they have seen their parents fight and yell and generally be unhappy, when they separate and all that ends, they see that things can be better. Some kids are relieved when this happens. But some kids don't understand it and fear change. This is why it is SO important for parents to NEVER badmouth the other when they're going through a divorce. Kids do not need to hear that, it's hard enough on them already. My siblings and I spent two years sitting in silence blocking out my father's rantings about my mother. Keep the nastiness AWAY from the kids. PLEASE.
Children adapt and overcome quicker than adults. and given the ages of your children - they will adjust. Now, I didn't say they would adjust fast - just that they will adjust.





Just encourge and show support to your children during this time - let them know that regardless of who you decide to marry - you and their father will always love them. Expect some resentment from your 12 yo. Especially if your children are close to their father.





Good luck.
They will suffer emotionally and some may take self-fault for it, but I think that no matter how ugly your divorce gets, to help your children, never fight in front of them, or argue, or swear etc. Show them continued love and support during this time, it is key for their happiness.
Of course it's confusing and they probably will resent the stepparent for trying to take the place of the biological parent.
If the stepparent is good to them and love them it shouldn't be too rough on them. Children bounce back quickly as long as they know they are loved.
Yes, it does. But the effect could be good effrect too. It depends how you and children handle and tackle the situation.
The same way it could affect children at any age... Confusing? I doubt it, though yes they might dislike the step parent.
Yes they could BUT it happens often and they usually grow out of that ..............